A BRIEF HISTORY - The Whore and The Monk
With
his confidence under one arm and his new found experience
under the other he stepped out into this new world full
of hope and ready to work. Toronto the Good was but an illusion,
a piece of well placed advertising. Within a year that rug
he had been secretly wondering about was harshly pulled
out from under him. He fell hard. Thankfully the pieces
did not scatter too far. It only took him a year or so to
put himself back together. So with a few less illusions,
the remnants of a lingering hang over and a new agent he
forged on. But something in him had changed as adversity
has a habit of doing people. The hunger was more intense,
the gaze a little jaded and crazed. Suddenly the casting
powers that be decided that he would be perfect as the "sweet
guy next door who is really a psycho". They gave him
a ticket for the roller coasted and he gratefully got on.
Over the next several years he played disillusioned, neurotic,
psychopathic, drug addicted, twisted wackos on numerous
TV series and movies of the week. Though these were not
the types of roles he had envisioned for himself. He did
not complain for the constant work allowed him to hone his
craft and more importantly paid his rent. The roles were
as diverse as the projects.
A fist to the face set him on a course that changed his
life. A broken jaw was not the best injury for an actor
to have. For the next 6 weeks his jaw wired shut. Unable
to speak, eat solids foods or work he spent his days wondering
through libraries and bookstores. Coming across an old Taoist
book he discovered a series of meditative exercises that
awakened in him a deep longing for spiritual awareness.
Within a short time he joined a meditation and martial arts
group. With regular daily practice he began to integrate
his meditation and Buddhist philosophy into his daily life
and work. As his self-awareness deepened he became more
sensitive to the effect his actions had on himself and others.
He came to realize that the negative energy required of
him to play the characters he was offered had a direct effect
on his well being. He who projects negative energy into
the universe can not but attract the same. This was a cycle
that was being perpetuated by his work. This inner malaise
became so acute that by 1989 he was on the verge of renouncing
his commitment to acting and find a more nurturing career.
The main issue was not the quantity of work but rather the
quality of the work that was sorely lacking. There were
a lot of crappy shows being done and he worked on a lot
of them. With each job his disillusionment grew and his
pride at being an actor diminished to the point that he
felt embarrassed to tell people what he did for a living.
Being in that frame of mind was very detrimental. He always
loved what he did for a living then one day he didn't anymore.
That is when he had become a whore, an expensive one, but
a whore nonetheless. It was time to get out before he opted
out.
At the peak of his crisis an opportunity was offered him that would re-ignite his
passion for his art. He received a call from a theatre director with whom he'd worked
several years before. The director had written a screenplay about the emotional,
physical and psychological journey that two heroin addicts, Snake and Michele, go
through when they decide to kick the habit. It was going to be his first feature
film, he'd written the role of Snake specifically for him and would he consider
playing the part. Martin was deeply touched by the offer and so moved by the script
that he accepted without hesitation. The project was the critically acclaimed, award
winning Canadian film H. The experience of working on H was everything he had dreamed
working as an actor could be like. The environment that was created on the production
was conducive to the process of creating and brought the best out of all those working
on the project. A well written script gave him the backbone from which to build
a complex multi dimensional character. The subject was socially relevant and treated
in a human and realistic manner. And being surrounded by supportive people who cared
about the quality and honesty of the result was everything that he had been longing
for. He gave himself up to the role and to the film to a degree that he had never
done before and has never done since. The experience left him emotionally, physically
and psychologically and spiritually drained. This was a once in a lifetime experience
that he is very proud to have been part of.
It was time for reflection
and he needed to get away, far away. A news story about a missionary’s need
for volunteer teachers in Thailand tugged at his heart strings. He knew that he
was being called to God’s service. Within two weeks, with only one change
of cloths, a small carry-on bag and his passport he was on a flight to Bangkok.
He spent the following months living a very simple monk like existence. The locals
thought it very strange that his tall, skinny, bald, white man would rent a small
house in the Klung Taoy Slums and live among them but soon enough they welcomed
him. There he gave art workshops for children, taught rudimentary English to the
prostitutes and helped at the school. It was a refreshing lesson on how to appreciate
the simpler things in life and that beauty and happiness must first be found within
oneself before it can be reflected out onto the world. Unfortunately his stay was
cut short by a wonderfully succulent shrimp that lead to a severe bout of Typhoid.
He had to be hospitalized for several weeks before having to returning home. It
was in that hospital bed that he realized he loved acting too much to quit.
Having lost touch
with the spark that drove him when he first entered the profession. He needed to
get back to the roots of his craft. The cause of his distress and dissatisfaction
was this. He had lost respect for himself as an actor because he had not become
what his vision of what an actor could be. A vehicle through which society could
heal its individual and collective wounds. Where their joy, sorrow, fears and fantasies
could be experienced and exorcised in a healthy non-threatening environment. The
actor as healer, as guide, as inspiration. An instrument of God’s will. Idealistic?
Yes. A goal attainable in this day and age? Again, yes. H had made him reconnect
with that vision and Bangkok was where he was able to clearly recognize the root
of his dis ease. And so he decided to dedicate himself to relearning the basics
of his chosen craft and redefine himself as an actor.
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